Oh, Cosmo

This month's issue of Cosmo featured two really... um, interesting, cover stories. The first of which is titled "100 Sex Questions; We Answer Every Dirty Thing You Want To Know- in 20 Words or Less." As usual, Cosmo offers us nothing new and this feature is essentially a cumulative look at what Cosmo has advised for many years in many issues. And because of this, unless you're 14, it's not likely you're going to learn anything new from this article. But like all of Cosmo, it's good for a laugh. Here are some examples of questions and answers that made me laugh out loud:
Q: If I don't have lube, what should I use?
A: Saliva
[obviously]
Q: Why does my boyfriend want to ejaculate on me?
A: He probably saw it in a porno movie
Q: How can I get him to spank me?
A: Spank yourself and he'll follow suit
[awkward]
Q: How should semen taste and smell?
A: Slightly sweet and a bit chlorine-ish
[I disagree... there's no way to describe semen and everyone's different]
Q: What does being inside me feel like for him?
A: Stick your finger in your mouth and suck and you'll get an idea
[Oh, come on!]

The second cover story is a shocker - Virgins in Cosmo? Seven women, age 20 to 23, present their reasons for remaining virgins. Interestingly, none of the women reported staying virgins for religious reasons or staying 'pure' until marriage. My feeling is that Cosmo simply decided for forgo statements from religious women because of the negative view people may have of them. Or maybe religious virgins don't read Cosmo. I think a general sentiment about religious virgins is that they have a "holier than thou" attitude. I have nothing against people who are virgins by choice, religious or not. However, many of the girls in this story reaffirm the stereotype that virgins-by-choice think they're better than those who are not virgins.
Taylor, 20, says "the though of doing it with just anyone disgusts me... I don't understand how people can let so many random people get that close." I don't understand how people can be so disgusting is how that reads to me. Andrea, 20, is worse. She describes her five female roommates as "sex-crazed," as if there's something wrong with their enjoyment of sex. They tease her about her virgin status, which she believes is fueled by her roommates' insecurity and jealousy due to her being "stronger than they've been." Yet Andrea admits to fooling around with guys, as do most of the girls interviewed, as if other sexual acts (like oral sex) are any less intimate than sex. I think Andrea's friends tease her because she's so high and mighty about her virgin status, and they want revenge on her for judging their choices.
The other girls admit to wanting to lose their virginity soon, probably due to the pressures they face from boys and friends. Victoria, 23 admits her "virginity feels like a handicap... I might just settle for the next semidecent guy who comes around." Courtney, 20, says "I want to lose my virginity really bad." I'm really unimpressed with the two extremes presented here ("I really want to lose it" vs. "Sex is gross"). If you're a virgin, be proud of the choices you make. Emily, 23 waited for her first kiss until she was 16 and it was perfect. She wants losing her virginity to be the same. Unfortunately, according to Cosmo, 40% of women polled said that losing their virginity wasn't what they expected. Also, the average age to lose one's virginity is 16 (19%). It's no wonder why some of these girls are feeling pressure to lose their virginity.
If I had to tell these girls anything it would involve the following:

• losing your virginity isn't a big deal because even if you plan for it to be perfect, it will probably hurt, you'll probably be nervous and, according to Cosmo, 88% of you won't orgasm. It won't be perfect
• I'm worried that there girls have too high expectations for the men they choose to have sex with. Men aren't perfect and just because a dude is a horn dog (which most guys in their late teens and early 20s are) doesn't mean he's not trust worthy, loving, and compassionate.
• you're not any better than anyone if you don't have sex, just like I'm not any better for having sex. If you're worried about getting pregnant or getting an STD, be smart and use protection. That's the true indicator of smart vs. dumb in the world of sex.

Please see also clips from the Tyra Banks show (which I normally have a strong dislike for), where a young man and woman have never had sex, even after months of marriage, due to the woman's fear and anxiety about sex. A totally extreme example, but an interesting case study, nonetheless.